We’re coming up on the one year anniversary of my rock bottom, so it seems only appropriate to reflect on what has happened in this year. That and, it is New Year’s Eve, so it seems fitting to give you a run down of how my 2018 went. Today I’m going to share the moments that made my 2018 exceptional, including my not-so-hots, with gratitude for the lessons I learned from them. There seems to be a big belief around only “looking forwards” and never “looking back” on your past, but as long as your intention is to reflect on your growth, I actually encourage looking back.

You see, in order to truly appreciate where you are at this very moment, remembering the lows, your past and where you started only serves to provide you with perspective. I don’t believe in the New Year, New Me mentality because I believe that coming to terms with one hundred percent of who you are (past and present) is necessary. And with that said, I encourage you not to obsess over making resolutions, but instead look back on your year in both the highs and low in appreciation.

I’ll go first. If you’ve been following my journey for a while, then you might remember 2018 as the year that I bordered relapse into substance and alcohol addiction, had a mental break down and quit my job with no plan for my future in sight. 2018 was also the year I became self employed, landed my dream projects and campaigns, found financial success, and most importantly, happiness. I’ll spare you the details, because I’ve shared my story a number of times on the blog + on insta, but I want to share a timeline of my year with you and then explain how I managed to 180 my life in exactly one year.

J A N U A R Y 
↓ Left my first corporate job after 3 months to go back into therapy
↓ Extreme stress + unhappiness lead to relapse into bad behaviours + addiction again
↑ Decided to take @veggiekins full time
↑ Traveled to Carmel, California with FeedFeed & Earthbound Farm to visit the original farmstand
↑ Worked with Whole Foods, a dream partner of mine, for the first time.
↑ Modeled for Varley with 2 of my closest friends

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Thought that I'd be missing out on #NationalCheeseLoversDay as a vegan? 🧀 I teamed up with @wholefoodsnyc to share my favourite vegan mushroom toast featuring @KiteHillCheese and a little bit about what healthy eating means to me. Tell me in the comments what healthy eating means to *you*, and whether you've tried vegan cheese! Spoiler alert–it's delicious 😏 Shot at @TheFeedFeed Brooklyn space (AKA my second home) 💕#WholeFoodsMarket #FeedYourResolution #FeedFeed ⋆ 1 cup mushrooms / 1/3 onion / 2 cloves garlic / few sprigs of thyme / few sage leaves / veggie broth or olive oil / salt and pepper / #KiteHill cheese (ricotta or plain) / bread ⋆ Cook onion and garlic with a little olive oil or veggie broth until golden and fragrant. Add mushrooms and veggie broth as needed, next add herbs. Top toasted bread with kite hill cheese and mushroom mixture. Season to taste.

A post shared by Remy Morimoto Park | NYC Vegan (@veggiekins) on Jan 20, 2018 at 7:14am PST

F E B R U A R Y
↑ Flew to LA with my best friend Minna for The Good Fest. My friendship with Dani @andapinchoflove really strengthened itself on this trip too. I love her.
↓ Broken relationship as I struggled to grasp what was my new life, and battle relapse
↓ Cut off several friendships, and family for some time. Felt lost…
↑ Shot for HokaOneOne with Jules, in the snow and all!
↑ Designed a jewelry line with a beautiful human who runs JewelsbySJB

M A R C H
↑ Press trip to Palm Springs with Cercone Brown. Met Dommy, who I’m grateful to know today, and got to connect with amazing brands like GoPro and Schwinn Bikes
↓ Used overexercising as a means of coping with feelings of uncertainty
↓ Lost a friend of mine to illness

A P R I L 
↑ Modeled in a hair commercial in Mallorca, Spain

M A Y 
↑ Flew to Malibu, CA with Lululemon for the first #lululemonimmersion
↓ Went back on medication. This could be a highlight too, however, because there is no weakness in medicating for mental illness out of your control.
↑ Became an Equinox Gym ambassador.
↑ Shot a commercial with PureBlends & Vayner Media. My sister later saw this commercial playing organically and her pride for me was a moment I’ll never forget.

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Are you team AM or PM sweat? I went to the gym religiously at 5:15 AM when I still worked a corporate job. You all know I don’t sleep well, so on top of being a morning person, I was convinced that first thing workouts were the best. Now that my schedule is a little more flexible, I try going to @equinox at off peak times and I’m playing around more with time of day that I work out. I have more energy + power if it’s a little later in the day, but also have a hard time winding down if I work out too late at night… aaand to be honest I love a good 5:15AM sweat because I’m a creature of habit. OKAY SO, what time of the day do you usually work out? And why? 🤔 #eqxambassador #committosomething #equinoxmademedoit // 📷 @sophiesahara 💕

A post shared by Remy Morimoto Park | NYC Vegan (@veggiekins) on May 29, 2018 at 1:44pm PDT

J U N E
↑ Worked with Asics! One of the first brand partnerships that my parents and grandparents recognized.
↑ Flew to Phuket with Mohan to do photography work for a luxury hotel
↑ Flew to Chicago to shoot for Brooks Running & Six:02

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If you told me 6 months ago that I’d be modeling @brooksrunning #Levitate2 for @six02 I’d probably tell you you’re nuts lol but as media changes, I find that I’m able to do things I wouldn’t conventionally be able to do. I’m a 23 year old very shy introvert but this is my multi faceted, ever unpredictable job and life is weird. And I love it 🙂 – Also, if you told me I’d run without being forced to, I’d probably also tell you that you were nuts but there are tips I’ve picked up that have helped me enjoy running more, so as promised I’ll share a few: • find your place—inside/out. depending on mood I like a gym run or I might want to jog Central Park. there are benefits to both: I find treadmill is lower impact than concrete New York for example. • get your foot analyzed—go into a store and have your run checked out so you can ensure you’re wearing shoes appropriate for the way your feet move! Brooks has models for different feet so if you haven’t shopped for shoes based on that, you’re missing a huge key • listen to music at the pace you want to run or a podcast for length • find a friend, or not 🙂 running with someone helps me pace and stay conversational but if I’m sprinting it slows me down • sign up for a race – because it sets a timed goal, and also the adrenaline in a race will speed you up and surprise you! it does for me anyway 🙂 – You don’t have to love running, I can’t say I’d describe my relationship as loving it but I LOVE how I feel after a run. ✌🏽#SuperhumanYou #Ad #veggiekins #vegan

A post shared by Remy Morimoto Park | NYC Vegan (@veggiekins) on Jun 26, 2018 at 5:16pm PDT

J U L Y 
↑ Became certified in Aromatherapy
↑ Hosted a New Moon Rituals workshop with Jocelynne (a dream project of ours for some time!)
↑ Got my yoga teacher certification
↑ Flew to 29Rooms Chicago with Refinery29 & Larabar
↓ Had the biggest fight with my family to date. Did not speak to them for some months.

A U G U S T
↑ Spent a weekend in the Hamptons with Seed Phytonutrients
↑ Started to open up more about my mental health on social media
↑ Partnered with Whole Foods again!
↑ Celebrated 4 years of sobriety
↓ Had an apartment lease signing nightmare (almost didn’t have an apartment for a full month), but ultimately moved into my new apartment, which I now love.

S E P T E M B E R 
↑ Headed to Seattle with the FeedFeed & Cascadian Farm team, along with some of my favourite humans
↑ Shot for Nike!
↑ Started the Sobriety Series on the blog
↓ Started to isolate myself from others, triggered by a friend’s funeral

O C T O B E R
↑ Met Meredith, of Vegan Aruba, and spent a week in Aruba with incredible humans
↓ Bad month for my OCD. Back to therapy bi-weekly.

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Beach hair & blurry shots pre SUP yoga ✨🤙🏽 your girl is vlogging + eating lots of vegan food. We’re about to get on a party bus so come hang on the stories! Happy Saturday ✨🌞 ✧ #veggiekins #vegan #wellnessblogger #veganaruba #traveldeeper #vegantravel #aruba #vegansofig #wheninaruba #girlfriendcollective #gosummersalt #SUPyoga #yogaeverywhere #divinefeminine

A post shared by Remy Morimoto Park | NYC Vegan (@veggiekins) on Oct 20, 2018 at 3:07pm PDT

N O V E M B E R 
↑ Flew to Tulum with Mohan, and celebrated his first Thanksgiving ever with my family. Transformative trip for the two of us.
↑ LOTS of family time

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Yesterday 11/11/11 at 11:11 marked 7 years of love and also struggle with my biggest advocate in life. I used to make wishes at 11:11 every single day when I was younger—for whatever reason it meant a lot to me when I was in the throws of mental illness because it was my constant. The date 11/11/11 only occurs once in a lifetime. Well, every 100 years, and he waited three months for that day to ask me out. It is a dream but it is also holding my hand through addiction & depression, long distance for 5 years, sacrifices. It’s me, him, my mental health and whatever baggage I have, and any of his in this relationship. It’s not perfect by societal standards but it is my perfect. When I am with him, I am home. I am grateful every single day for this human. #thankyou #iloveyou #1111 #numerology

A post shared by Remy Morimoto Park | NYC Vegan (@veggiekins) on Nov 12, 2018 at 10:22am PST

D E C E M B E R 
↑ Partnered with Leaping Bunny, an organization I admire so much
↑ Got my period back! (kinda…)
↑ Made my first TV appearance on ABCNews
↓ Lost an important friendship in my life
↑ Started my holistic nutrition course
↑ Committed more time to rest

All of this, though, doesn’t even begin to measure up to the happiness I’ve found within myself. Despite several mental health dips throughout the year, I’ve arrived at this place where I’ve accepted that healing is a journey, and there is no destination, just growth. Growth is success, whether its one step or a hundred, and that has made all the difference in my happiness.

If perhaps you are at what feels like your rock bottom, fuck the new year thing and instead of focusing on a “better” 2019, whatever that means, take it micro. Think about how you can grow in the next minute even, and take it from there. Know, and be confident that there is light in your future if you are ready to receive it, and lay the foundation with positive energy, and trust. Reflect, accept and manifest.

I started to receive good things the moment I decided I wanted them. I went from the mindset that my life, and life itself, lacked purpose, to demanding growth for myself and my career. As I crawled through my camera roll and calendar while writing this blogpost, remembering where I started is really quite unbelievable now. And, to be physically where I was exactly one year ago, in Thailand but with a new mindset is truly humbling. I owe you the biggest thank you for creating a space for me to grow, heal and (over)share all about it. This will be my last share in the Sobriety Series. Thank you for reading, and for being here, bringing light and helping me find mine.

With all the love & light,